The Power of Emoting

My last post was perfect in many ways, perfect as an example of good “emoting”. Emoting as I like to define it is “to give expression or emotion” I think it’s pretty clear I was doing that just there. That definition is now emblazioned in BIG letters on the wall of the foyer of “Angel Grace School of Emoting”, the new project I mentioned in an earlier post.

Well despite the recent dramas it won the second prize in the first round of the Felix Dennis “How to get Rich” business ideas Competition and now I’m in a race with the 1st and 3rd prize winners for the next 2 months to get the most sales to try to win the biggest prize.

We opened our doors on tuesday with a Grand Opening Party and I had a lot of fun there. Then yesterday was the first class, and I had 7 students, I was SO pleased, I genuinely had no idea if after all the work I had put in if people would be interested but they were and those that came really enjoyed the class.  So onwards and upwards.

It’s a totally different experience from selling prefabs but I’m enjoying the fresh challenge and it has given me the opportunity to build one of my favourite buildings yet and of course add on a beautiful parkland that is open for all so if you’re reading this do pop by and take a look.

A few lessons I’ve learned these past few weeks.

Chameleons always eventually show their true colours.

I can’t take away lessons the people I love are meant to learn, even when I know it will hurt them and it hurts me to see it.

True friends just won’t let you go when you think it’s best to walk away. They let you see why you are needed. - This one I learned from both sides of the fence, both the person who tried to walk and the person who pulled someone back.

To quote a beautiful , funny friend “The Black Widow always plays with it’s prey before devouring it” - thanks for that one hun it still makes me giggle.

Getting really, really angry makes me write really well

The key to friendship is finding a way to walk alongside eachother and hold eachother’s hand through life even when it takes you down different paths.   Sometimes one person may let go, but true friends will find their paths meet again so it’s up to the other person to just watch the other from a distance and shout occasionally that they are still with them.

I wrote in an earlier blog that I was working on developing my spirituality and psychic gifts, recent events have shown me that I’m more open than ever to energies from others, particularly those who truely matter to me. I have truely felt their love, their fear, their anger, their grief, their happiness. I don’t deny it’s been pretty exhausting, taking on all those emotions and having them mix with my own which are already pretty powerful. It has given me the opportunity to truely learn about the souls of those people though, it has assured me of who is true and who has lower intentions and most of all it has assured me that deep within even the most confused person, their soul knows what is truely the right course for their happiness and I can only pray that they listen and act no matter how frightening it may be at the time. A lot has gone unsaid, a lot of things that could cause a storm that may last for a long long time and leave many wrecked on the shoreline, choices are being made carefully, and I hope nothing more happens that would lead to a wreckless choice being made in a moment of anger.

Club Risque is sadly no more, the thread that bound myself and my best friends together was cut savagely by a person who sees nothing outside of their own bubble. As angry as I was at the way it happened I have finally come to recognise it as simply the universe’s way of sending each of us on a different path, one that will ultimately lead to our own bliss. Most of us will still travel together in some way, some friendships don’t need a thread to tie them they have a force that can never be broken pulling them together.

The poisonous claw

There aren’t words.

There just aren’t words to adequately describe how I feel right now.

That one person (and I use that description out of politeness and an unwillingness to be driven to turning this blog into a rant,  rather than as an accurate portrayal of the individual involved) could be so cold, so calculating, so selfish, so manipulative, so hypocritical, so insecure, so inadequate in their own mind, so totally set on proving themselves to be so much worse than any of us feared simply makes me sick. 

I will not lower myself to their low, petty decietful standards by revealing the details of this situation or naming the individual in question, those who need to know do know who I am referring to and I know that person will not be able to help themselves but to read this. I do not make it my business to spread malicious rumours, to infect friendships with poisonous venom, to destroy businesses, lives and friendships, to lie, to decieve, to be so hateful, so intent on not only destroying friendships but also slowly, carefully, demolishing the soul of a most beautiful human being under the cloak of “love”, hypnotising them with rhetoric about true love and twin-flames, something they will never truely understand.  The cloak will fall, I pray before this victim’s soul is completely destroyed and I know the person who stands in the centre of this storm right now, seemingly protected, will as all of us do, have this come back on them a hundred-fold and will feel the burning pain and the hollowness of their own existance as everything and everyone they do truely care about is gone and they are left alone to stand above the smouldering remains of the life, that once had such potential for beauty and happiness, for giving and sharing and loving unselfishly as it lies before them destroyed by their own inexplicable desire to destroy the lives of others.

The time will come and those who have suffered in their wake will not watch and be happy, they will have moved on, found their own true bliss, forever marked by this person’s poisonous claw but not willing to let it’s bile infect them forever.

A bit of honesty

I think it was inevitable from my last post, I’m all burned out on the retail industry in SL. So Miz Slocombe for now does not exist in world, I will continue to sell on SLX for now, although recent events there may lead to me withdrawing my products from there too.  My other up and coming store also no longer exists, I may put more skins on sale on slx but anything retail based now is totally on the back burner, I need to recharge my batteries.

So what now for Angel? Well I’m continuing DJing, I’m loving it and I also have other plans, a rather strange idea I actually had some time back and have decided to put into action, it’ll be interesting to see how it works out. All hush hush at the moment until I get all the required materials and people together but I have built a fabulous building for it, it was nice to build again.

What else? Primarily I have spent the past few weeks reconnecting with my friends, I’ve learned I don’t work well alone and I was always happiest when I working on a project with people. I’m hoping some people will join me on my new enterprise but even if they don’t I plan to spend a lot more time with the people who matter to me in SL, all work and no play makes Angel a very dull kitty.

Actually speaking of Kitties, I’ve been playing human for about 3 weeks now, it’s still strange to look at myself and not see my chocolate striped skin and ears but I like my new human look too, it’s one of my skins and it suits me well I think.  I’ll switch back to neko though soon I’m sure, I bore easily lol.

I’ve been exploring SL a lot more lately, finding some amazing places and reminding myself of why I came here, to learn to explore to create and to make friends, those friends I have I cherish, they may not always behave as I would like but those who really matter I love anyway. I’m not sure if it’s a planetry alignment thing or what but it seems just about everyone I know is going through a big change in their relationships right now including me, some good, some bad, some causing problems outside of their relationships it’s an interesting time and i’m learning a lot about certain people along the way; some are stronger than I ever gave them credit for, some are more lost than I realised, some are outright liars and troublemakers. Is a bit of honesty too much to ask?  I actually do try not to involve myself too much other people’s relationships but when the people involved involve me in some wicked attempt to hurt me over something they really know nothing about then I have to take issue.  Maybe asking for honesty really is too much, I know if I was totally honest with some people it would cause a lot of pain to a lot of people including me.  One has to question though, is it worth all that pain to finally get the truth out there to not live surrounded by bullshit? That’s something I’ll have to ponder on cos sometimes, the stench is just too much to bear. The funny thing is this idea totally carries over to my RL and I have already decided that in that area honesty is totally needed, the outcome? … I can only know when it’s been done, but whatever it is, it will be for the best and I have no doubt it’ll have a big impact on the future decisions I make in SL.

So I guess I need to change the title of this blog … I kinda like the title of this post

Blagh!

Well I’ve been around but due to being sick for hte past month or so and unable to focus on much for more than 5 minutes before getting distracted by something else I’ve achieved very little. I so want to get my new skins ready but there’s SO much work involved. I’ve been Djing at Club Risque which is fun, nice to be involved in the club again, I’m sorry I ever quit. I’m losing money hand over fist though, paying rent for land that is housing my huge practiclaly empty store. My prefabs aren’t selling and from what I hear from others … their aren’t selling either. So I’ve made at least one decision .. no more prefabs.  I’ll do custom builds for people but no more prefabs.  I’ve yet to decide if I can get myself together to get the skins on sale. Other than playing at the club SL seems to have little draw for me any more. I like being around my close friends and playing at the club and that’s it…. maybe I need a break, I dunno.

For goodness sake…

Will anyone who is reading this who finds me in world IM me and remind me to update the links on this blog and add the pics I keep forgetting to add. The problem is when I get home from work I invariably start up SL and don’t really look at the internet, except for my email and SL Exchange.

Add to that that lately I’ve been spending a LOT of time in photoshop working on posters for my new products and time just goes by so quickly.

So … I’ve decided to let the very few people who read this in on what the new store will be.

It’s called Angel Grace and will sell:

Skins & shapes (shapes created by me, the skins I’ve uploaded from PSD files I bought from a very talented creator, I need to learn how to modify them to broaden my range but one step at a time :D)

Original Photos taken by myself or Monty

Furniture

Shoes

and possibly some other things as I continue to spread  my wings.  Still a lot of work to be done though, although the building is up and ready.

Part of the space will also be showcasing the work of Nick Gloucester, an incredibly talented individual who pretty much single-handedly created and now manages Elysian Isle, SL home of Random House Publishing. He’s the SL hubby of Mel one of my bestest SL friends and always just been too busy to get his own store set up so I’m letting him have a space at Angel Grace.

So at the moment I’m building, photographing, modelling the skins & shapes (female & male … which is interesting LOL) and photographing … and more photographing (took over 150 photos yesterday and that’s just for a few of the female skins .. yikes) . I expect to be buried in Photoshop or my little studio for at least the next week, little room for an SL social life right now but I’m quite enjoying learning new skills, and creating new types of products.  The prefab business is far from dead but for now it’s on hold until I get a decent stock for Angel Grace.

PLUS …..

 PLUS…..

in RL … well I don’t normally talk about RL but you all know my SL partner Monty is also my RL boyfriend of almost 4 years… in Rl we live 200 miles apart and for various reasons it’s always been that way but now … opportunity has knocked on my door and said ” so you gonna move up there with him or what?” and I said “of course I am silly …” so … my RL House is going on sale and as soon as it’s sold I’m moving up to Manchester in the North West of England to live with him …wooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So much to do in RL too.

I am a busy busy Kitty … and I still miss Cullen, he was often the voice of reason when my mind goes into crazy overdrive and geeez I could do with that right now … instead I just have ot try to think “what would Cullen tell me?” and sometimes it does help.

I’m a busy busy Kitty but an very very happy one right now.

Slacker …

I’m such a slacker, I knew I’d stuggle to keep this blog up to date.  As it is i’m updating from work where I have no access to anything Second Life related, even my access to SL Exchange has been blocked so I have no way to supply SLURLs, I’ll have to remind myself to update those when I get back home.

 Soo .. aside from a Spiritual awakening as descibed in my last post,what’s been going on in the world of Angel Slocombe?

Well…

The Plaza closed and the land sold nice and quickly leaving me with enough to keep me going without having to “buy” lindens for a little while.

I rented 2 commercial plots on the Isle of DisQ sim, owned by super scripter DisQ Hern who has been very supportive.

I built a purpose built Miz Slocombe Prefabs Store on one plot, and landscaped behind and am now offering landscaping services as well as Prefabs.

I created 5 new prefabs, ranging from a 512 starter home to a replica of Southfork Ranch (from the TV show Dallas).

What about the other plot you rented Angel? What have you done with that?

Well, that’s a secret for now, but a big clue can be found by visiting the area, the building rather stands out.  Let’s just say I’m expanding my range, and also, perhaps a little later will be offering something quite unique.

So business wise that’s pretty much it at the moment. I’m down to just ONE other “mall” store on Imagination Isle which I will probably give up when the lease runs out, focusing on my main store/s for now and of course SL Exchange (damn the IT guys for blocking it … ok I WAS on there too much but not the point! *sulks*)

Non-business stuff, I gave up half of my beloved island on Nanea, I kept the corner though, reducing costs and making much more sense as I was rarely there, I’ve placed one of my new prefabs on the land and turned what was designed as a dungeon into  a Basement Workshop / office (ironically meaning I’m now there MUCH more lol) .

Monty & I had a little party on the beach the day before I gave up half the land to celebrate our “partnership”. Was nice to have friends round.

I’ve also had some very happy things happen and some not so happy…

Last week, Cullen, the Plaza camper who became one of my closest friends in SL decided that due to Real Life issues he had to quit SL. I miss him a lot, he had been a rock for me during some very turbulent times in SL, a total sweetie, silly man who no matter how many times I turned down his “advances” would continue to shower me with compliments and affection and would tell me even if I couldn’t give him what he wanted he would still prefer to be near me and be my friend (and what an amazing friend) than not.  But he’s left and I miss him more than I ever thought I could.  I pray for him and his happiness always.

On a flip side to that, I’m very very happy to say that a situation that had been making me rather unhappy in SL and that was affecting my relationship with more than just the core people involved is now pretty much “healed” and I have back a true friend who I had become dangerously close to losing, partly through my own stupidity, partly due to both our egos getting in the way and partly due to outside influences sticking their oar in something that is none of their business.  However, time, patience, forgiveness and the fact that like it or not, no matter how much we bug eachother sometimes, we’re destined to be in each other’s lives has led us to a MUCH happier place.

Club Elysium has become Club Risque, a ladies only club with male dancers with a brand new very cool building. I try to pop along to visit with old friends a few days a week but my new enterprise has kept me very busy. I must not neglect my friends though, I hope they know that I’m always just a TP or an IM away.

 OK back to work .. I guess now I have no choice *sigh*… roll on hometime.

The spirit of SL

Not many people know that in RL i’m quite a spiritual person. I’m working on developing my already sometimes frighteningly strong psychic abilities, tuning into my intuition and finding out a heck of alot about myself, and others in the process. I’m also learning more about spirituality and believe we are spirits having a human experience. As I learn more about this I’ve come to recognise that a “soulmate” is in actuality so much more than I ever previously thought. I’ve always said my SL & RL partner Monty is my soulmate … now I know he’s actually A Soulmate and that in fact I have many, and so does everyone else.

I believe a Soulmate is a soul that has travelled the earth with you before, a companion through the many human experiences our spirits go through. They  won’t always be meant to be your lover, although they may have been in a previous existance, and they may be in this one too, they will always be meant as someone to help you through this life, to be there and guide you through the lessons you came here to learn.

Recognise your soulmates in those you’ve just met but feel like you’ve known all your life. The people who you feel connected to without totally understanding why.  They will be the most precious people in your life, they may come, they may go, they may love you, they may hurt you,  they will never be forgotton. Cherish them and don’t fear the connection, it’s just our spirit recognising an old friend.

Ultimately I believe our Spirits come to have a human experience with a plan, with lessons they wish to leatn, things they wish to experience. As as grow as humans we get so much stuff piled onto us we forget that we are spirit and we forget the plan, our soulmates are there to gently remind us and guide us.

I’ve been thinking more and more about how I can incorporate my new found spirituality into SL. Aside from recognising that through SL I have made conatct with a number of soulmates, there must be more that can be done. I have a plan, a way of giving back, of achieving everyone’s life purpose, to be all I can be and to do all I can do for others. More info soon after I get things ironed out.

As for Miz Slocombe. it’s improved, it’s grown, I’m tired, I’ll update another time

and *poof* it’s gone

well not yet … not gone yet but on Sunday Miz Slocombe’s Plaza will be no more.  Not an easy decision to make but the lag there was ridiculous and it just wasn’t gonna work out. So closing down Sunday, sell the land and explore other options, there are some people I already know who may be able to help me out in that area. All to be worked out though

 For now, I have a new main store location for Miz Slocombe, on the Isle of DisQ Sim (will update with SLURL when I get back in world) .

DisQ who (oddly enough according to the name of the sim) owns the place has very kindly offered me an excellent rate and kindly let me go loose on the landscaping giving an opportunity to once again dig ponds  and raise mountains  with the terrforming tools and create an attractive area that not only makes my store look good but also allows me to advertise my landscaping skills. My location is pretty nifty too .. right between his new mall and the new Total Transformation HQ (from the owners of Textures R Us) this place is a one-stop new Av shop selling Shapes, skins, & hair etc  so I’m pretty happy with that.

 I have a new venture in the works on the business side of things but it’s secret until  the time is right.

 Tomorrow (Saturday) having a party on my beach to celebrate Monty & I partnering up … it’s so sweet, he doesn’t come on much and is in so many ways still a noob , he doesn’t really know anyone so he keeps asking me “do I need to DO anything” bless … no sweetie , just be there and have fun.

It will also be a bit of a farewell to my lovely beach tomorrow too as I’m looking for somewhere smaller.  I love my beach .. it’s going to break my heart to leave but I barely use it and it’s costing me too much… so bye bye it will almost certainly go very soon.

 So … all change … well almost all.  Keeping Monty, and my friends, I hope

Speaking of friends, my last post inspired an interesting discussion on the SLX Forums and it was heartening to learn I wasn’t alone in experiencing such powerful feelings towards people I have only ever seen in AV form.  Sadly ONE of the situations that sparked my post still hasn’t really fully resolved, partly because of me, partly them,  proving that it only takes a second to wound someone but it can take much much longer for them to heal.  I wouldn’t be so unkind as to reveal who the players are in that situation, they know who they are and I hope they know how much I’d give to put everything behind us and have things as they once were, full of trust, love and laughter.  However, as much as we’d like to say “forget it” the brain doesn’t work that way and I know I’m having a hard time forgetting my hurt and so understand that it would be just as hard to forget the hurt I caused.  So… one day at a time.

Friends & lovers, the ups and downs of Second Life.

It’s easy to believe that because the eyes looking into your are pixels and not real that you can hide your true feelings from those you have become close to.

It’s easy to believe that what is created in SL, be it a building, a piece of furniture, a gadget, a relationship  or a friendship has less value than it would have in real life.

It’s easy to believe that it’s all just fantasy and nobody can really get hurt.

It’s easy to believe all those things, and there have been times in my SL life when I have believed all of them. I know now though that none of them are true.  I had to learn the hard way, by connecting, by feeling, by opening my heart and by hurting and being hurt, by trusting and betraying and being betrayed, by loving and by leaving.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that behind every Avatar in SL is a real person.

It’s easy to forget that those people think and feel and react in the same way in SL as they would in the same situation in real life.

These are the things we must remember most of all.

I’m as guilty as anyone of making the mistake of saying something spiteful or foolish in SL and not considering the impact it may have on the person who the comment was aimed at. The Computer monitor seems to act as an invisible field between the real me and the real them, it’s only when something happens and you realise that you have made a “real” connection with someone, a friend, someone you’d just been chatting with who suddenly is having a problem and you realise you genuinely “feel” concern and love for them, that you realise… real friendships, real connections of all kind are very possible in SL and not enough people remember that.

It scares some people, it’s more than they bargained for and they don’t know what to do with it and they try to sabotage it or just run away from it.  I don’t understand why because to be me it is a beautiful thing.  Some people embrace it too much, mistake what it is … they confuse affection with desire, usually if desire is something they are craving.  It can get messy as in real life, and it was be wonderful too.. as in real life Like it or not, SL is just like RL in more ways than I can begin to describe. Why? because it is real people behind it.

My Sweetie Monty and I met online 4 years ago, and in RL 3 and half years ago, we know the power of the written word, we know the magic of a connection made between two people before they’ve even been in the same city as each other. We know the joys, we know the pitfalls, we know the pain, we know the ecstasy. We still make mistakes, we still have many lessons to learn but we have promised to learn them together even though in RL we live many miles apart.  As a symbol of that, as a step towards our future together, I’m very very happy to announce that Monty has agreed to be my Partner in SecondLife. 

We won’t be having an SL “Wedding”, our RL connection would make that a little too wierd for us both, we have made our vows to eachother every day of our relationship. Despite the physical distance between us, those who know us consider us very much a “couple”, a partnership and we simply wanted to bring that into Second Life.

I am am very lucky woman…  and I get a ring

Onwards & upwards

Well my friends it would seem the dust that was kicked up a few back still hasn’t quite settled but we’re getting there. In the meantime Miz Slocombe moves onwards & upwards. 

I’ve been distracted from completing the Hero Collection because I have been given my first Custom Order. I can’t go into detail about it right now as it’s not yet delivered and is intended as a “one-off” but I’m quite proud of what I have there and I hope it will lead to further business in that area.  When it is delivered I will ask my customer if I can post a pic of the house here.  I’m slightly saddened that I won’t be able to sell it seperately … but I expect I’ll be able to modify it enough to make it “different” and sell that instead.

Other News.  We had the official grand opening 3 days ago.  Thanks to SL throwing a rolling restart into the middle of the event it didn’t turn out so successful but my wonderful friends from Club Elysium who came along as well as some other friends and neighbours and my sweetie Monty all made it worthwhile.  Note to self: Do not bother taking an afternoon off RL work to set up for an event … something WILL happen to make it all seem rather pointless.  LOL!

More other news, I’ve decided to focus on my main store .. and maybe one or two mini-outlets. I’m letting my lease run out on the rest. I think while I’m focusing on prefabs this is the best strategy as people need to be able to see them easily which they can do from my Main Store.

I’ve made some contacts over hte past couple of weeks which I hope will be very useful.  One, the lovely Simone Barsov, a talented builder in her own right who was the first customer to buy the Hero Mansion.  She is a sim owner as well as a builder and I’m hoping we will be doing some business together.  Also, a very sweet guy by the name of Cullen Munro, who has been camping at the plaza almost since it opened. He became such a feature of the place, almost always playing the guitar, being cheerful and helpful that store owners were giving him clothes for free to demo and  over the weeks he and I have become good friends. Turns out he’s a graphic designer … now I KNOW I could use of those LOL.  In the meantime I’ve offered him a legitimate job at the plaza as a Greeter & Assistant. He’s still finding his feet, learning how to build and trying to make some money along the way and I already know he’ll be an asset to the business in many ways.

I’m also going to be investing some of my time to a job again (I know i just quit one LOL but this one offers good perks) I am a store assistant and the fabulous Textures R Us.  I’m still in my one month probabtionary period but if I am asked to continue I will be offered lessons in texture creation and other perks such as discounted textures … worth a few hours a week right now while things are a bit tight.

So busier than ever. Sadly less time with my wonderful friends but I hope they always know I will be there for them if they ever needed me as they were there for me on Friday … it won’t be forgotton guys & girls. I love you all.